View: Why health insurers make people ill

Once I navigated the labyrinth that was the 800-line menu, I was subjected to a series of pre-recorded messages, including one that felt less like a call center greeting and more like an oral history of the Affordable Care Act.

Then there was the twenty-minute wait until a representative was available, with the on-hold music periodically interrupted by an ironic recorded assurance that the company "values my time."

They valued my time so much that they made sure to consume a lot of it. That first call lasted more than two hours and included ten transfers, because nobody seemed to be the "right person" to help me. You'd think I was asking about some arcane plan feature, but all I had were some straightforward questions comparing networks and benefits across two of the company's plans.

Each service representative I spoke with began the conversation using the same scripted phrase: "What would you like to accomplish today on this call?"

"I'd like to not get transferred," was the reply I started using about an hour into the odyssey. "That's my goal on this call." The vast majority of the people I spoke with were unable to satisfy even that simple request.

Oftentimes, I found I knew more about these plans than the enrollment representatives themselves. I even resorted to walking one of them, step-by-step, through the company's own website materials, when they insisted the plan I was considering had no out-of-network coverage. (It did, and they finally concurred.)

Even after this first marathon call ended, I was compelled to call again… and again and again.

In some cases, it was to follow-up on information that enrollment representatives had promised to send me, but never did.

In other cases, it was just to ask the exact same questions of another person, because I had absolutely no confidence in the responses I was getting. I would pose the same question to three representatives and get three different answers. That's how my insurer empowers me to make a good decision?

My experience is not uncommon; health insurers routinely bring up the rear in cross-industry customer satisfaction rankings. It begs the question, though, how much unnecessary expense are these companies incurring as a result of all this incompetence?

If health insurers simplified their products a bit, if they made their information materials a little clearer, if they trained and equipped their staff better – how much consumer confusion would they mitigate? How many incoming calls, e-mails and tirades would they preempt? How much operational savings could they pass on in the form of more affordable coverage?

In a health insurance marketplace that's becoming increasingly consumer-directed, many insurers have taken to the airwaves to highlight how they enrich our lives and improve our well-being.

But you can't advertise your way to a good customer experience. If health insurers are serious about improving my well-being, they can start by creating an open enrollment process that's more satisfying than it is sickening.