Have you ever met someone briefly and felt like you really knew them afterward? This usually happens when we have a shared interest or passion, grew up in the same area, or played the same sport. We find something in common that helps us feel like we have known them for longer than our brief acquaintance. We typically discover our commonalities by hearing each other's stories.
Many people are too self-conscious or reticent to tell their story. They may be shy, have been raised not to do that, or feel that talking about themselves is egotistical.
This reluctance to share one's story is even more prevalent in the work world. There seems to be a prevailing pressure not to speak in a way that highlights our achievements, professional or personal undertakings or hopes and dreams. We worry doing so can be seen as braggadocio, may be considered self-serving or offensive or will be received as the speaker subtly trying to put the listener down by lauding herself over the other.
Yet telling your story can be a game-changer both for individual careers and companies seeking strong leadership. Here are surefire steps that can help overcome fear and open doors in the workplace:
Step 1: Understand the difference between storytelling and braggadocio.
We often worry talking about ourselves is seen as blowing your own horn — and nobody likes a hornblower. But sharing your story, expressing your dreams and aspirations and undertaking activities that help you achieve your dreams is not horn blowing.
Here's a key difference: Horn blowing is at the expense of someone else. It's aggressive. What we're talking about is something completely different: We're talking about assertiveness, the positive and passionate embrace of our talents, intentions and the dreams they fuel. Telling your story is an opening — and a welcoming one, encouraging dialogue. This can be key for financial advisors as they look to build trusting, lasting relationships with clients and colleagues throughout their careers.
Step 2: Identify the purpose of your story.
Along with hard financial skills, so much of what advisors do is relational — and sharing stories builds connection. Telling your story lets people see you and understand what drives you toward your goals, yet unfortunately many professionals, women especially, tend to restrain themselves from sharing their dreams because they fear being perceived as hornblowers.
We believe telling your story is the best way to know where you're going and why. It can differentiate your practice and build community. Your story unlocks futures waiting to be achieved. Reluctance to tell your story can become an impediment to building your career, achieving your goals and embracing the fullness of your talents — potentially leading to missed opportunities to be helped and to help support others.
We should constantly strive to lift others, just as we were lifted by those who came before us. We believe that the only way you can lift someone is if you know their story and their dreams. By encouraging others to tell their story and share their goals and intentions, we see them and get an honest sense of who they are — whether a seasoned colleague, potential next-generation new hire or prospective client. And when they are seen, it is much easier to lend a hand, offer guidance, and open networks for them. Listening to another's story is the first act of lifting.
With this in mind, it's important to recognize that your story can not only help you, but help others as well. Think about key learnings and moments in your life that have had an impact, that you could share with others to express who you are and provide encouragement or example for others.
3. Craft your story.
What does it mean to tell your story? It's letting others see you, hear your dreams, and recognize your passions, talents, and potential. Story draws people. Passion draws people. People want to work with and help those who demonstrate that they are purposeful. But if you're not sure how to do that, you're not alone. Luckily, everyone has the potential to craft a powerful story, and there is a simple way to do it.
