7 Good Times to Ask Friends for Business

"Being polite is nice, but we are in the business of selling. If we are networking in high-net-worth circles, when do you transition from building a friendly relationship into talking business?" This question came when a reader got in touch after reading my recent article, "19 Prospecting Mistakes to Avoid." So. when does "talking business" start? Let us start by drawing a distinction between social prospecting and networking:

• Social prospecting: Gaining entry into wealthy circles by becoming part of their world. Developing friendships and gaining introductions. The aim is to transition some relationships from social to both social and business.
• Networking: Joining organizations like the Chamber of Commerce and networking groups. These are business organizations where it is understood the purpose of the group is to gain new clients.

When Do You Talk Business in Networking Groups?

In networking groups, the answer is immediately. That is the purpose of the organization. Making fruitful connections on a regular basis is why networking groups exist. That is what keeps people engaged and renewing their memberships.

When Do You Talk Business When Social Prospecting?

This one is where the nuance lies. Let us start by listing examples of events where social prospecting takes place. This includes weddings, alumni association events, museum openings, tailgating parties in stadium parking lots, car club rallies, charity gala dinners, country club golf tournaments and neighborhood association meetings. In these settings, the purpose of the event is either social (weddings) or fundraising (galas). If you make connections, the assumption is you are engaging in social outreach. If you immediately start talking business, warning lights flash in their heads. Wealthy people are prospected all the time. Although you are thinking about approaching them for business, relatives are pitching investing in their new restaurant, charities are asking for big donations and extended family members wonder if they will pay their children's tuition. They know when they are being solicited. Knowing then to stay a friend and when you approach for business can be a balancing act. Let us consider two stories:

• Identifying a need. Now you are in a position to help. You might be able to solve a problem. A bank president mentioned, "You want to be kind on the surface, but aggressive below." Put another way, once you identify a problem, politely make the approach.
• "Thank goodness you never ask." A California advisor ran in wealthy circles and had a wealthy friend, yet could never find the right moment to bring up business. One day, the friend mentioned, "I know this guy. He is an advisor like you. He keeps pestering me about business. I finally threw a few million dollars his way just to shut him up. Thank goodness you never bug me about doing business!" In this case, silence was not golden.

Check out the slideshow for a look at seven instances when it is appropriate to bring up business.