How Not to Get Stuck With the Check

Slideshow December 01, 2022 at 10:13 AM Share & Print

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Many HNW individuals love to be cultivated for their business. If they are charitable, some nonprofits might invite them to exclusive receptions. They’re taken to sporting events as guests.

Most of the HNW individuals I know exhibit a sense of fair play and pay their own way when going out with their friends. If you are cultivating them for business, they probably know it.

They might assume you have an expense account for business entertainment. Let us suppose you don’t. How do you socialize without getting stuck with the check?

You are not a cheapskate. You do not want to be taken advantage of, either. By preparing ahead of time or setting the rules, you are ensuring the game is played fairly. In the gallery are some examples.

Bryce Sanders

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1. You need good BYOB restaurants.

Everyone loves restaurants that allow you to bring your own bottle. Let's suppose that you've met up at a museum exhibition opening sponsored by your firm and you invited a few friends along as your guests. No one has eaten. Afterwards, you suggest going out together for dinner.

Logic: Plan ahead and have a few nice bottles of wine in your car. When you suggest dinner, mention it’s BYOB. You will supply the wine, so no one else needs to stop at the liquor store beforehand.

The unspoken message is since you are footing the cost of wine, that is the only part of the meal you are absorbing in total on behalf of the group. Everything else is divided proportionately.

(Image: Adobe Stock)

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2. ‘Let Me Get the First Round’

You are at the country club, just having completed a round of golf with three friends. Everyone heads into the clubhouse. Perhaps there was a tournament, and your firm was one of the sponsors. There might be a misunderstanding that sponsorship extends to free drinks. You get the bartender's attention and buy the first round for the foursome. You settle the bill immediately.

Logic: When you say, “Let me get the first round,” you are being generous. You are also communicating that the second round can be on the next person who wants to be generous.

People can put drinks on their own account or run their own bar tab afterwards.

(Image: Shutterstock)

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3. The Restaurant That Takes Only Cash

These still exist. Another good resource is the restaurant that takes only certain credit cards. Years ago, many establishments took Mastercard and Visa, but not American Express. You are heading out to dinner with a group of friends. The restaurant hasn’t been chosen yet, but this place is nearby.

Logic: You mention the place takes only cash or checks. No credit cards. You explain the quality of the food is worth the inconvenience. You say: “Let me know whether anyone needs to stop at an ATM before we get there.”

This warning ahead of time establishes that everyone is covering their own share.

(Image: Adobe Stock)

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4. The Restaurant With the Great Midweek Fixed-Price Dinner

You all attended a board meeting at your nonprofit after work. No one has eaten yet. Someone suggests dinner. You suggest a nice restaurant that is normally expensive, but has a great midweek special when business is slow.

Logic: HNW individuals love saving money and getting a deal. You mention this restaurant. Perhaps you add on weekends, entrees run $60-plus, but on Wednesdays, they do this special three-course meal at $49. It’s the same food, but at a better price.

By establishing the cost ahead of time, you are letting them know what they should expect the cost to be.

(Image: Adobe Stock)

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5. ‘It Will Be My Turn Next Time’

Sometimes, the other person gets stuck with the check. That was not the original plan, but it just worked out that way. You and another couple were heading out to dinner. When you get to the restaurant, there is a problem. Maybe you forgot to make a reservation and it is closed for a private party. They graciously mention their country club is nearby. You all go for dinner there. They pay the bill.

Logic: Most country clubs work on a personal account system. No cash is shown in the club. Credit cards are not accepted. Only members can pay. They picked up the check because your original restaurant choice fell through.

You thank them and say the next dinner is on you. You book this within the next couple of days, so you can clear your debt.

(Image: Adobe Stock)

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6. ‘Separate Checks, Please’

You are attending a conference. Everyone heads to the bar after a workshop. There are six people sitting around the table. It is unclear who will be paying the bill. You recognize at least one person who is a master at ducking out before the check arrives. This is not business cultivation; it’s associates getting together.

Logic: You are at a conference in a conference hotel. The management is used to this situation. When your server comes over you request separate checks.

Now it is the server’s job to keep track of who had what.

(Image: Adobe Stock)

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