I started writing this article while sitting by my husband's bedside in the hospital.
The last few weeks have been a medical nightmare.
My purpose is to share what I have learned the hard way: strategies your clients — and, possibly, you — may need to successfully maneuver through a medical crisis with a loved one.
Here's what happened.
Week 1: My husband Bernie had emergency gall bladder surgery. The gall bladder was very badly infected, and he had sepsis.
With the hospitalist system now in place in many hospitals, you're assigned a surgeon in the emergency room. I will call my husband's surgeon Dr. S.
Week 3: We had a 9 a.m. follow-up appointment with Dr. S. Bernie was still having pain and very weak.
Lesson 1: Be assertive.
If you think there is a problem that is not being addressed by the doctor, don't take no for an answer. Speak up and listen to your gut feelings.
Dr. S. found that the incision was badly infected. He drained it and said that Bernie should return home, and that a home health care nurse would visit daily to check it.
I told him, "There is something really wrong here. Please do additional tests."
Dr. S. disagreed. I insisted.
And, finally, he replied — in a very irritated tone — that I should take — Bernie to the emergency room if I was worried.
That's what I did. After numerous tests, we were informed that the sepsis was worse, and that Dr. S. would do emergency surgery the next morning.
If I had taken my husband home – as originally advised — he probably would have died.
Lesson 2: Take copious notes.
And, if possible, record the conversation.
The morning after the tests were conducted, a surgery that was supposed to take one hour lasted three.
When Dr. S. came to me in the waiting room, to discuss the surgery results, I was anticipating good news. I was shocked to hear what he had to say: that he had to do another emergency surgery in two days.
I did take some notes but was so horrified that I missed a lot of what Dr. S. was telling me.
After Dr. S. left, the woman who had been sitting nearby came over and hugged me. She had overheard the conversation.
Then I asked her to help me recall what Dr. S had said so I could take more notes.
Keep a notebook. Write down the name of every person providing medical updates and what they said and when.
If they know you have their name, they immediately feel accountable and will be more likely to provide the attention you want and need to stay on top of the medical crisis.
Lesson 3: Doctors and other medical personnel seem to sugarcoat the patient's condition.
Probe to get the hard facts. Ask why various medications and IVs are being used.
The day after Bernie underwent the first round of emergency surgery, I called the intensive care unit for an update and was told that Bernie was doing fantastically.
Meanwhile, he was on a breathing tube and heavily sedated.
I wanted to know the truth. I finally drove to my primary care doctor's office to ask him in person for more details.
