All I want to do is sell

All of this helps move the sales process forward to a conclusion that best fits the buyer.

2. Talk about what your company can do for customers instead of talking about your company.

"One of the most important things a businessperson can do — especially an owner or someone who is involved in sales — is to learn how to speak about their business to others," wrote Aileen Pincus in Bloomberg Businessweek several years ago. Being instantly able to speak clearly and persuasively about their company is a test everyone in sales must pass with flying colors. These words have become near 'sacred text' status to those in sales.

Unfortunately, if you have such a 'sales pitch' or 'elevator speech', it's time to get rid of it because no one wants to hear it.

Of course articulating what your company does should be second nature, but the ability to express clearly and with enthusiasm what your company can do for customers holds far more interest and value.

3. Cultivate self-doubt to enhance your self-confidence. 

No one questions the immense role of self-confidence in sales. Even so, it's easy for self-confidence to morph into being too confident. This is when customers back off; no one wants to be around someone who comes across as self-centered and arrogant.

This is why self-confidence needs to be balanced with a healthy amount of self-doubt. Having too much self-confidence makes it easy to dismiss criticism, ignore the need for improvement, and disregard suggestions from others. Most importantly, it keeps us from asking the important sales questions:

• Do I understand what the customer is looking for?
• Am I sufficiently prepared for this presentation?
• What have I missed? What don't I know that I should know?
• Do I have a clear understanding of the competition's solution?
• What could go wrong and am I ready to handle it?
• Do I have the answers to the questions the customer is likely to ask?

There's a very fine line between self-confidence and arrogance and to cross it is to put a sales career in jeopardy.

4. Work to get the response you want.

Bill Pineo at The Tile City in Avon, Mass. is not an average salesperson. He came up to a couple looking at bathroom tile and gently entered the conversation. He asked a few questions and listened intently to what they said. He then guided them to several displays, where he asked more questions and pointed out certain tile characteristics, while encouraging them to take pictures of their choices.

When finishing up, Bill asked for the order and the couple let him know where they were with their project. "Would you mind if I stayed in touch with you?" he asked. And he followed through, checking in with them regularly for several months. A few days after they hired a contractor, Bill called again and the couple placed the order.

Bill Pineo did two important things right. First, by positioning himself as a facilitator or helper, someone who knew the tile business and wanted to assist his customer, Bill managed the sale. Second, by staying in touch, he let his customers know he was going to be there when they were ready. The process convinced the couple that Bill was serious and wanted the sale. "He deserved it," they said.

This story is an example of what Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, the famed persuasion expert, calls 'The Principle of Reciprocation'. It's what occurs when the salesperson helps customers and manages the sales process so they want to respond positively by placing the order or making referrals. It's the difference between a good experience and a bad one.

Anyone who wants to reach the top in sales should think seriously about reaching the top of the trust scale.