In short, the focus of their selling style is to promote their own personalities. They want prospects to love them as much as they love themselves. Unfortunately, this approach puts the advisor at the center of the sales process, rather than the client. What impression does this make on clients? While a shameless narcissist prattles on, they are thinking:
- Wow, that person seems a bit phony.
- Hmmm, he seems so manipulative.
- Does she care about me at all?
- He just wants to make a quick buck.
In the old, pre-Internet days, a certain percentage of prospects would fall under the spell of such an advisor and buy. But today, when financial problems are more complex and financial solutions so hard to attain, prospects have little patience for narcissistic selling. They want a knowledgeable professional to get to know them fast, clarify and prioritize their financial challenges fast, and deliver solutions even faster.
But here's the rub. After meeting with a sales narcissist, prospects won't just walk away dissatisfied, they may post their unhappiness on the Web for friends and family to see. And if their opinion goes viral, an advisor's reputation will surely die by word of mouth.
So how do you avoid killing your reputation through excessive self-love? Here are a few pointers that should help:
- Put the prospect, not you, at the heart of the sales process. Shine the spotlight on their desires, resources and objectives, not on your own wonderfulness.
- Don't impose your own agenda on the client relationship. Instead, empower clients to make their own informed decisions about their finances.
- Don't manufacture the sales personality you think people want. Let your authentic personality emerge from inside.
- Don't be afraid to speak the truth to a client. They may not love you for it, but they will respect you.
Finally, work really hard to establish trust and understanding. The only way to do this is to be more client-focused than your mirror-gazing competitors.
Selling is not about you, but helping the client reach his or her goals.
Steven R. McCarty is Chairman of the National Ethics association (www.ethics.net). Responses and questions can be sent to [email protected]. 
