Resolving Conflict: Eight Steps to Workplace Harmony

Question three is "What is non-negotiable?" By allowing people to explain where they draw the line in the sand, this helps them claim their personal power and become less defensive. For example, when the financial advisor asked her employee if he would join a particular organization, he refused and said it was non-negotiable because he had had a prior negative experience with that organization. However, he was comfortable approaching people at his church.
Going through these two questions helps people reach resolution by sifting what is absolutely critical from what is not. Once you each have a list of what is negotiable and what isn't, you can move on to the next step.

Question four is "What have we learned from previous experience?" The focus on applying lessons from the past helps organizations become more adept at learning from earlier mistakes and successes.

When I facilitate conversations around this question, people sometimes go as far back as their childhood experiences. In this case, the employee said he had learned when he was a Boy Scout scoutmaster that he wasn't comfortable in large organizations. The financial advisor learned that she would need to give him more autonomy to help him succeed.

Having answered that question, they moved to question five: "How do we feel about the situation?" This question gives participants an opportunity to air their emotions so they can move on to finding resolution.

At this point, the employee expressed concern for his job. The manager voiced concern about his ability to succeed. Both agreed that they could move on to making a plan.

Question six asks "What is our game plan?" In this step, the employee was expected to devise a detailed plan of what he would do to get more clients. He said he would join the church board, and he identified a number of prospects from church whom he would invite for coffee. He estimated how many would become clients and how much revenue that would bring into the firm. He set a timeline. The financial advisor approved the plan, and he agreed to start on it the very next day.

This is where most conflict resolution processes end. But not the Working Circle.
Question seven, "How will our plan transform us?" asks participants to look at the transformative results of the plan, because we put our attention where our intention is. So the financial advisor asked, "When you complete your plan, what impact will this have on our relationship, the business, and on you as a professional?" This enabled the employee to clarify how he wanted to improve as a professional by overcoming obstacles he needed to face.

Once this question is answered thoroughly, it becomes relatively easy to address question eight: "Will this be good for the long-term future?"

The relationship between the advisor and the employee improved. As it turned out, he did not produce the results that he had committed to and they agreed to separate. But due to the process they used, it was an amicable separation.

Mellan: What's the most important thing to keep in mind when using the eight steps?
Katz: The more deeply the situation is explored, and the more diligently previous learning is brought to the foreground, the more comprehensive and long-lasting the solution will be.

In practice, Diane told me, the Working Circle process has proved to help resolve strife between groups, as well as individuals. It makes perfect sense to me that this guided trajectory, incorporating rational strengths and emotional needs, past experiences and future visions, can lead to more durable conflict resolution.

Look for Part 2 of this series, "Speaking Truth to Power," with Ira Chaleff, in the March issue of Investment Advisor.    

Olivia Mellan, a speaker, coach, and business consultant, is the author with Sherry Christie of The Client Connection: How Advisors Can Build Bridges That Last, available through the Investment Advisor Bookstore. She also offers money psychology teleclasses and facilitates intergenerational retreats for wealthy families. E-mail Olivia at [email protected].