As a generation, boomers have a common personality type: the "expressive." They are on a quest for freedom, meaning and new solutions, and are likely to be looking for an advisor with that spark or charisma. Emotional state, focusing and listening are the three most basic elements to developing charisma. Let's look at each element.
Emotional state: Charisma is, in part, the result of controlling which emotional state you go into. In my coaching practice, I teach my clients how to move from a negative state to a positive one, one state at a time. For example, you might go from rejection to optimism and then to curiosity. Curiosity generates charisma because where optimism is focused inside on you, curiosity is focused on the person in front of you.
For a minute, stop reading and identify two or three times when you were optimistic, and go into one of those situations. Relive it. See, hear and feel exactly what you experienced back then. Now remember it. And hold up your little finger. That finger represents optimism. When you want to go into optimism, just hold up that finger, or grab it with your other hand. That stimulates your memory and helps you go into an optimistic emotional state.
Focus: The only way you can be charismatic is by paying attention to other people. When you are with other people, what are you focusing on? Are you thinking of what you will say to them? If so, you're blocking your charisma. When you realize you are focusing inward, instead of outward, reach up with your little finger and scratch the middle of your forehead. Then hold your little finger with the other hand. Let that action change your focus, so you pay attention to the person in front of you.
