Wanted: Financial Advisor

"If you take finances out of the equation, couples generally get along very well," he says. "The old saying, opposites attract, tends to be true of the spouses I see. But finances are the one area that creates seemingly insurmountable problems."

Reconciling differences in financial priorities, he adds, requires of the advisor an ability to listen empathetically, navigate points of friction without taking sides or becoming emotional, and then gently guide the couple to a solution. The conflict therefore demands interpersonal skills, as opposed to proficiency in selling techniques.

The solution, observers say, generally splits the difference, achieving a middle ground on spending and saving priorities that each partner can live with. The result: a retirement plan that, while curtailing the spendthrifts free-wheeling ways, typically entails a longer timeline (and/or a smaller nest egg) than the saver spouse wanted.

As a tactical concession, Van Benschoten frequently suggests that the non-saver spouse scale down expenses annually (for example, by $20,000, $30,000 and $50,000, in years 1, 2 and 3). So instead of retiring in, say, year 5 (the savers first choice), the couple retires in year 7.

"The [spendthrift] spouse has to have a win," says Van Benschoten. "He or she is not just going to say, Fine, Ill reduce my living expenses by $100,000 per year so we can retire in 5 years."

To fund retirement objectives, Driscoll encourages his middle-income clients (those with earnings ranging from $50,000 to $150,000 annually) to invest up to the corporate-matching contributions in their employers qualified retirement plan, such as a 401(k); and to place surplus savings in a Roth IRA. One reason: the ability to withdraw contributions, albeit at a price. (Unless an exception applies, most distributions from a Roth IRA before the owner reaches age 59 1/2 are subject to a 10% "early withdrawal penalty.")

Additionally, a permanent life insurance policy should account for at least 20% to 25% of the couples death protection, says Driscoll.

However funded, the retirement plan has to be monitored over time to ensure success. So, regular follow-up meetings between the advisor and client-couple are critical, observers say.

"Just giving the partners a plan and saying, do this, isnt enough," says Driscoll. "We have to hold the proverbial Damocles Sword over their heads to keep them on track."

Reproduced from National Underwriter Edition, December 16, 2004. Copyright 2004 by The National Underwriter Company in the serial publication. All rights reserved.Copyright in this article as an independent work may be held by the author.