We all know that insurance is a rather sedate industry. It seems the scandals and publicity that dog other industries (even related ones like finance) usually dont play in our sleepy acre of the public consciousness.
To tell the truth, Im losing consciousness just thinking about the lack of entertainment value in this field. Why its enough to make one consider switching to a more exciting and potentially dangerous work setting. The post office comes to mind.
But before we lose hope for any juicy excitement in the annals of insurance, lets consider a scenario that could just create the kind of hullabaloo that grabs headlines.
First, relax and empty your mind. Now, let your body sway to a thumping, churning reggae beat and open your mind to the accompanying lyrics: "Bad boy, bad boy, whatchoo gonna do?"
Thats right, you know where Im going. Were in the opening of a special "Cops" program focusing on some real bad boyscyber-criminals. But were not talking about just any hackers here, were talking about those no-goodniks who ply their nefarious trade in insurance.
As the show begins, our cyber-sleuths visit the offices of a large multiline insurance company that has detected unauthorized access to its computer systems.
Company Executive: "Thank God youre here. Someones accessing all kinds of personal information on our clients and our employees."
Sleuth: "This could be serious, like a Sarbanes-Oxley or HIPAA problem."
Executive: "I was thinking more of that streaming video of me dressed as an elf on the conga line at the office Christmas party."
Sleuth: "Uh, well at any rate, lets follow the cyber-trail and nab this dirtbag."
What follows is one of those really pulse-pounding chase scenes through the offices of the carrier. Every time the cops reach an office, they see a shadowy figure disappearing with an evil snicker through a stairwell door.
Startled claims reps gasp as the fleeing fugitive leaps over their desks with wild abandon. Secretaries shriek and drop their steno pads in utter terror as the bad guy speed types gibberish into their vulnerable workstations. Even the actuaries raise an eyebrow when the cyber-crook knocks over their abaci.
Finally, the cops corner the suspect under a desk in a huge, wood-paneled office on the buildings top floor.
Sleuth (approaching cautiously as his back-up agents fan out): "OK, sir, the running is over. Come on out now, and nobody will get hurt."
Crook (cackling madly): "Youll never get me, copper!"
The suspect makes a mad dash for an open window but is tackled by numerous agents, wrestled into submission and handcuffed by two burly men who sit on him to keep him still.
